Hello La La Land. I am the
Queen, and I am a Procrastinator.
*Hi Queen*
Procrastination can be
such a lovely thing. Or many things. In fact, listing the many things to do in
the Ever Lasting Quest of Procrastination is one of the best activities on said
list. So let’s discuss all of the ways you can put off doing whatever it is you
are supposed to be doing *cough**writing**cough*.
Hello La La Land. I am the
Queen, and I am a Procrastinator.
*Hi Queen*
Procrastination can be
such a lovely thing. Or many things. In fact, listing the many things to do in
the Ever Lasting Quest of Procrastination is one of the best activities on said
list. So let’s discuss all of the ways you can put off doing whatever it is you
are supposed to be doing *cough**writing**cough*.
1. Eating! Because, you
know, food.
2. Cleaning. A
common side effect of writer’s block is a dust free apartment. And clean
dishes. And clean sheets. And OH MY GOD, DID YOU KNOW WE OWN A VACUUM?!
Seriously, where has this thing been hiding?!
3. Television.
You’ve been ignoring your shows for a while now, so you should pick this exact
moment to watch absolutely everything in your DVR. And once that’s done,
there’s this glorious thing called NETFLIX. Feel free to type in Netflix
instead of opening up your WIP. Just promise yourself that you will go back to
your WIP once everything in Netflix has been watched. Twice.
4. Pace around your teensy-tinsy apartment. It’s like exercise, only better. Cause, you know,
it’s not exercise.
5. Paint your nails.
6. Text your
friend about her wedding, all while giving opinions on things you know
absolutely nothing about.
7. Paint your
nails again.
8. Add some
glitter to your nails.
9. Decide you
hate the glitter.
10. Redo nails.
11. Mess up nails when you pull out laptop.
12. Curse laptop and WIP for ruining the masterpiece
that is your nails.
13. Redo nails again.
14. Eat some more.
14. Eat some more.
15. Check twitter.
16. Check instagram.
17. Check facebook.
18. Question whether or not you actually know any of your “friends” from facebook.
19. Un-friend half of previously questioned friends.
20. Call your parents.
21. Eat some more.
22. Think about exercising.
23. Decide that writing is better than exercise.
24. Stare at WIP.
25. Type a few words.
26. Stare at WIP some more.
27. Decide that exercise is actually better than writing.
28. Shower.
29. Give yourself a blowout.
30. Curse at your mirror like a sailor because you will never be able to do your hair like the chick at the salon.
31. Pour yourself a glass of wine.
32. Offer your roommate a glass of wine.
33. Ignore the fact that she won’t drink before 5 pm.
34. Drink your glass anyway.
35. Stare at clock until 5pm.
36. Do happy dance once clock hits 5:01.
37. Finish bottle of wine with your roommate.
38. Dance around your apartment like the Beyonces in training that you are while quoting lines from Pitch Perfect.
39. Fall asleep.
40. Wake up thinking Today is the Day.
41. Realize you are hungover, and Today is Not the Day.
42. Spend rest of day sleeping.
43. Watch more TV.
44. Eat more food.
45. Go to bed without even looking at your WIP.
46. Wake up.
47. Go to work.
48. Come home.
49. Eat.
50. Think about writing.
51. Watch TV instead.
52. Think about writing some more.
53. Go for a walk.
54. Come home.
55. Finally pull open your WIP.
56. Write 500 words.
57. Pat yourself on the back for completing 500 words.
58. Decide you’ve earned a break.
59. Open another document.
60. Decide to write whole blog post on procrastinating.
61. Realize that you could probably do this forever.
62. Decide that you need to stop making this list.
63. Stop.
64. Stop right now!
65. Ok, seriously though.
66. Stop
16. Check instagram.
17. Check facebook.
18. Question whether or not you actually know any of your “friends” from facebook.
19. Un-friend half of previously questioned friends.
20. Call your parents.
21. Eat some more.
22. Think about exercising.
23. Decide that writing is better than exercise.
24. Stare at WIP.
25. Type a few words.
26. Stare at WIP some more.
27. Decide that exercise is actually better than writing.
28. Shower.
29. Give yourself a blowout.
30. Curse at your mirror like a sailor because you will never be able to do your hair like the chick at the salon.
31. Pour yourself a glass of wine.
32. Offer your roommate a glass of wine.
33. Ignore the fact that she won’t drink before 5 pm.
34. Drink your glass anyway.
35. Stare at clock until 5pm.
36. Do happy dance once clock hits 5:01.
37. Finish bottle of wine with your roommate.
38. Dance around your apartment like the Beyonces in training that you are while quoting lines from Pitch Perfect.
39. Fall asleep.
40. Wake up thinking Today is the Day.
41. Realize you are hungover, and Today is Not the Day.
42. Spend rest of day sleeping.
43. Watch more TV.
44. Eat more food.
45. Go to bed without even looking at your WIP.
46. Wake up.
47. Go to work.
48. Come home.
49. Eat.
50. Think about writing.
51. Watch TV instead.
52. Think about writing some more.
53. Go for a walk.
54. Come home.
55. Finally pull open your WIP.
56. Write 500 words.
57. Pat yourself on the back for completing 500 words.
58. Decide you’ve earned a break.
59. Open another document.
60. Decide to write whole blog post on procrastinating.
61. Realize that you could probably do this forever.
62. Decide that you need to stop making this list.
63. Stop.
64. Stop right now!
65. Ok, seriously though.
66. Stop
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