Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Today in La La Land

Today in La La Land, Madame Internet (aka, Twitter) is making The Queen wicked jealous. That's right, we said wicked. We're so jealous that our New England is showing.

But that's okay! Because we are going to use that jealousy -- scratch that -- admiration to feed our robotic fuel -- uh, fire. We meant to say fire.

*strokes imaginary mustache while plotting world domination*

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Sun Shining, Birds Chirpin'

New Ideas in the Land of La are shiny and plentiful today. Oh! And it's absolutely gorgeous out. All of which has The Queen feeling very excited.

Have a Happy Weekend Kiddos!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Fighting the Odds

For most of our life, we have never really been too concerned with The Odds. It just wasn't taken into account. We saw something. We wanted it. We found a way to get it. Hard work and a few lucky strokes would always get us exactly where we wanted to be. No biggie. We were cooler than a cucumber.

We should have known it would come back to bight us in the ass at some point.

*looks at ass. winces. applies an ice pack.*

So what to do when The Odds are finally staring you in the face? When they're sitting in front of you, red-eyed and workin' a wicked evil grin?

It's simple, really. You just turn away. Pretend you're six-years-old again and keep telling yourself that not seeing them is the same as them not being there at all. Because what else can you do? The Odds will never be enough of a reason to quit. The Odds will never be able to tell you to stop. Not ever.

Because how else would we be able to win?

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

A Confession

Hey there kiddos. Ready to hear something shocking? The Queen doesn't really like summer.

*pauses while everyone in the known universe gasps*

Correction: The Queen doesn't really like summer in New York. In fact, the word hate might even be applicable. Why, you ask? Because strolling through NYC in the summer is like walking through hot, smelly soup. And yes, it is as gross as it sounds. Of course, the fact that we cannot handle the sun might also have something to do with it... (Vampires may not be real, but their skin tone sure as hell is. The Queen is living proof).

So while we wish all of you a wondrous and sunburn-free summer, we will be spending most of ours curled up with a giant AC unit, waiting for the first glimpse of fall. Or at least the first bus outta town.

New Hampshire, anyone? We hear its nice this time of year :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Finding the Love

There is a special Tower in Writer's Hell. Residing in the penthouse is Writer's Block along with Rejection. Self Doubt likes to come by for a painful game of poker from time to time. It's not a fun place to visit, let alone get stuck in.

Writer's block can last a few hours, or days, or months, or even years. The longer it lasts, the more painful it becomes. One day, you are plotting along (ha! get it?), weaving magic with your words and having amazing adventures with characters who feel more real than your family. Then, suddenly - BOOM! Writer's block blasts you off your feet. The magic is gone, and it took all the happy with it. You can't remember how writing once made you feel. You can't remember the love.

So what do you get instead? Voices. No, not the crazy kind, but the kind of voices that whisper in the back of your mind when you are feeling low. These voices are normally easy to ignore. But not in the Tower Penthouse. Oh no. In the Penthouse, those voices start to scream.


(And they always sound like the mother from Everybody Loves Raymond for some reason... What? Just us?)

But here's the thing: You can't let the voices win. No matter how much you want to roll over and give up, you have to make yourself get up and try, try again. You need to tell those nasty screams and doubts to F&$% off. Then you need to find your way back to the love.

For The Queen? Getting back to the love requires time and patience. We dive back into what made us love all of this stuff in the first place. First it's reading. Then it's fantasizing in an elaborate fashion (this is La La Land, after all). Then, finally, it's putting one word after the next. Those words become a sentence, and another, and another, until there is a whole page. Now two! And three! And... and.. and... Oh hell. You get the idea.

The point is, kiddos, don't give up. Not ever. It doesn't matter if only the Mother and Father of The Queen read your books. It doesn't matter if The Roommate is the only one to ever say you're brilliant. And it absolutely, posi-friggin-tively doesn't matter if no one ever reads this blog post.

Because for The Queen? Writing it was only ever about the love in the first place.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Instead of Progress, the Queen Offers you a List

Hello La La Land. I am the Queen, and I am a Procrastinator.

*Hi Queen*

Procrastination can be such a lovely thing. Or many things. In fact, listing the many things to do in the Ever Lasting Quest of Procrastination is one of the best activities on said list. So let’s discuss all of the ways you can put off doing whatever it is you are supposed to be doing *cough**writing**cough*.

Hello La La Land. I am the Queen, and I am a Procrastinator.
*Hi Queen*
Procrastination can be such a lovely thing. Or many things. In fact, listing the many things to do in the Ever Lasting Quest of Procrastination is one of the best activities on said list. So let’s discuss all of the ways you can put off doing whatever it is you are supposed to be doing *cough**writing**cough*.

1. Eating! Because, you know, food.
    2. Cleaning. A common side effect of writer’s block is a dust free apartment. And clean dishes. And clean sheets. And OH MY GOD, DID YOU KNOW WE OWN A VACUUM?! Seriously, where has this thing been hiding?!
    3.  Television. You’ve been ignoring your shows for a while now, so you should pick this exact moment to watch absolutely everything in your DVR. And once that’s done, there’s this glorious thing called NETFLIX. Feel free to type in Netflix instead of opening up your WIP. Just promise yourself that you will go back to your WIP once everything in Netflix has been watched. Twice.
    4.  Pace around your teensy-tinsy apartment. It’s like exercise, only better. Cause, you know, it’s not exercise.
    5.  Paint your nails.
    6.  Text your friend about her wedding, all while giving opinions on things you know absolutely nothing about.
    7.  Paint your nails again.
    8. Add some glitter to your nails.
    9. Decide you hate the glitter.
   10. Redo nails.
   11. Mess up nails when you pull out laptop.
   12. Curse laptop and WIP for ruining the masterpiece that is your nails.
   13. Redo nails again.
   14. Eat some more.
   15. Check twitter.
   16. Check instagram.
   17. Check facebook.
   18. Question whether or not you actually know any of your “friends” from facebook.
   19. Un-friend half of previously questioned friends.
   20. Call your parents.
   21. Eat some more.
   22. Think about exercising. 
   23. Decide that writing is better than exercise.
   24. Stare at WIP.
   25. Type a few words.
   26. Stare at WIP some more.
   27. Decide that exercise is actually better than writing.
   28. Shower. 
   29. Give yourself a blowout.
   30. Curse at your mirror like a sailor because you will never be able to do your hair like the chick at the salon.
   31. Pour yourself a glass of wine.
   32. Offer your roommate a glass of wine.
   33. Ignore the fact that she won’t drink before 5 pm.
   34. Drink your glass anyway.
   35. Stare at clock until 5pm.
   36. Do happy dance once clock hits 5:01.
   37. Finish bottle of wine with your roommate.
   38. Dance around your apartment like the Beyonces in training that you are while quoting lines from Pitch Perfect.
   39. Fall asleep.
   40. Wake up thinking Today is the Day.
   41. Realize you are hungover, and Today is Not the Day.
   42. Spend rest of day sleeping.
   43. Watch more TV.
   44. Eat more food.
   45. Go to bed without even looking at your WIP.
   46. Wake up.
   47. Go to work.
   48. Come home.
   49. Eat.
   50. Think about writing.
   51. Watch TV instead.
   52. Think about writing some more.
   53. Go for a walk.
   54. Come home.
   55. Finally pull open your WIP.
   56. Write 500 words.
   57. Pat yourself on the back for completing 500 words.
   58. Decide you’ve earned a break.
   59. Open another document.
   60. Decide to write whole blog post on procrastinating.
   61. Realize that you could probably do this forever.
   62. Decide that you need to stop making this list.
   63. Stop.
   64. Stop right now!
   65. Ok, seriously though.
   66. Stop

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Struggling with SNI

Today in LA LA Land, the Queen is struggling with an SNI. What is an SNI you ask? Well listen close kiddos, cause the Queen is gonna tell you.

The SNI: A Shiny New Idea. Often discovered when one is procrastinating, this sneaky temptress is the writing equivalent of The Other Woman. An SNI will use its shiny new-ness to lure you away from your current Work in Progress. Sneaky temptress, indeed!

SNIs are quite common in The Land of La since we spend much of our time fantasizing about something other than what we are currently doing. (Like working, or cleaning, or making a doctor’s appointment so that the mother of the Queen will quit pestering her already!). But it is paramount that we resist the siren call of this New Idea and make our current WIP the top priority.
Resist! The! Call!

Oh look! Another idea. And it’s SPARKLY!  

In other news, The Queen would like to wish a giant HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of the lovely moms out there, including her own.